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My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on!
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Why was the girl staring at the juice box?
Because it said: "Concentrate."
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Do you wanna know how I escaped ISIS?
Iran
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I opened a gym geared towards lazy pessimists.
It didn't work out.
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One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments.
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