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My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on!
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My wife came back from the store complaining about how the lady at the register was a total bitch.
I asked her if she was at self check out. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
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When I was a single man, I had a lot of free time.
Now that I listen to full albums, I hardly leave the house.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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