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My wife just gave me a restraining order..
Who knew there was an incorrect way to use a colander.
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I love telling dad jokes.
Sometimes he laughs.
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I wish I could be ugly for one day
Being ugly every day sucks
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Marriage is like a card game.
At first, you have two Hearts and a Diamond, but at the end, you'll want a Club and a Spade.
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?
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