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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
Father: If you'd clean your room, you'd know where to find things!
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What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth rock.
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So I was asking my brother how come he only uses his superpowers on my daughters
He said it’s because he only has telekinesis not telekinephews
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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