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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
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What has four wheels and flies?
A Garbage Truck.
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Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
I was like, 0mg.
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Do you know why the say "be there or be square?"
Because you're not around.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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