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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
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A store clerk fought off an armed robber with a labeling gun
Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.
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My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
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How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
Pull down your pants and show him your nuts.
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
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