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My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink…
No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema.
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I was caught by a gang of mimes.
They performed unspeakable acts on me...
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[Walks up to coworker's desk] I know I don't say this often enough,
but than you for not showing me pictures of your kids.
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Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
The egg. Dinosaurs laid eggs long before chickens.
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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