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Me: this is my house
Friend: what's upstairs Me: stairs don't talk
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What's the difference between a guitar, a fish, and glue?
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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You know what I really don't understand?
Russian.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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