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What do you call 2 crows?
Attempted murder.
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Why are ghosts terrible liars?
Because you can see right through them.
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A photon checks into a hotel, and the bellhop says, "Can I get your bags for you?"
"No need, good sir," replies the photon. "I'm traveling light."
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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?
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