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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Me: Honey, I'm terrified of vowels. Wife: Ummm, why?
Me: Only sometimes.
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My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it.
We went out for drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer.
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"Dad, will the pizza be long?"
"No, it will probably be round."
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My girlfriend likes to take the stairs but I prefer taking the elevator
I guess we were raised defferently.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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