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I can cut wood by looking at it
I saw it with my own eyes
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I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What exactly happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
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I dated a twin once...
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