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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Maybe aliens haven't visited yet because they looked up reviews on our solar system
and only saw 1 star.
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Dad : “I need to call the doctor today.” Mom : “Which doctor?”
Dad : “No, the regular kind.”
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Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
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Someone tried to sell me a coffin.
I said it's the last thing I need.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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