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Knock-knock! Who's there? Donohue. Donohue who?
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What do you call it when a pirate climaxes?
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I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
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Wife: "Honey, I'm Pregnant."
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People told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic

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