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My wife and I decided not to have kids.
The kids are taking it pretty hard.
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I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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A man standing on a riverbank yells to a woman on the other side, "Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?"
"You're already on the other side!"
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Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
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