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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
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I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.
I won’t rest until I find it.
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Working out is like a drug to me.
I don’t do drugs.
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What happened when 30 got hungry?
38
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Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...
I left my phone in Airplane mode
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How come you can’t starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there
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When I realized how terrible the play was, I quietly resigned from my job as a stage designer.
I left without making a scene.
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I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
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