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When I realized how terrible the play was, I quietly resigned from my job as a stage designer.
I left without making a scene.
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I shot my first turkey today...
Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.
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Never, ever invest in Velcro....
It's a total rip-off
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What do you call someone who gets mad when they don't have any bread?
Lack toast intolerant
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Apparently nobody knows why Notre Dame caught fire....
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