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What is the biggest difference between chemistry and cooking?
In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.
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What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?
Brrrritos
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What's the difference between a baseball hitter and a skydiver?
The baseball player goes "smack!...ARGH!" A skydiver goes "ARGH!...smack!"
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My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined!
She lost 120 lbs. I gained 20.
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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
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