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My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined!
She lost 120 lbs. I gained 20.
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Can I watch the TV?
Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
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I figured out why Teslas are so expensive.
It’s because they charge a lot.
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A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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