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What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower
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What is Santa’s religion?
He’s eggnogstic.
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What does a werewolf and a 50 year old woman have in common?
Nipple hairs
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Me: Cortana, I definitely don't use any other virtual assistant.
Cortana: Are you Siri-ous?
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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