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A dog slowly rolls past you in a red plastic baby car.
This is a bad neighborhood.
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Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday
Apparently you’re not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say “get a load of this guy” every time someone walks in.
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Once a man assaulted me with milk, butter, and cheese.
How dairy.
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I was driving when I saw a hitch hiker, so I stopped and picked him up. He said “Woah, I can't believe you actually picked me up. What if I was a serial killer?”
I said “Not likely, I mean what are the odds of two of them being in the same car?”
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I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
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