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I made a pencil with two erasers
It was pointless.
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Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says “regular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks “fill?” my dad replies
“No, Fred, nice to meet you”
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Shredded cheese was a great invention.
People were really grateful.
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My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.
I said, “Wait! I can change!”
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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