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I finally found a drink that will help me get my butt in shape.
Acetone.
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Why is Ireland the biggest country in the world?
Because it keeps Dublin.
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I don't really work well under pressure.
Or under any other circumstance for that matter.
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What word is always spelled wrong in the dictionary?
Wrong.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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