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I think my wife is leaving me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.
Oh well, hind sight is 1.
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My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type
As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
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What type of magazines do cows read?
Cattlelogs.
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Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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