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What do cannibals drink in the morning?
A cup of Joe.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
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What does a panda use to make pancakes?
A pan...duh
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Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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