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I couldn't decide whether my girlfriend was pretty, or ugly.
So I told her that she was pretty ugly.
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Did I ever tell you I had a job smashing cans?
It was soda pressing.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9!
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How does the sun say hi to the moon?
With a heat wave!
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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