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I got fired from my last job even though I always gave 100%.
Apparently that’s not how you grade exams.
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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, damn it! Breathe!
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What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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