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The waitress came over and saw my leftovers and asked, "do ya wanna box for that?"
I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."
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How is Christmas like another day at the office?
Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit!
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I keep asking iris why some people have dyslexia, but she won't answer.
Maybe my iPhone is just broken.
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"How would you like your steak?"
On a plate is fine, thanks.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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