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Soccer striker: I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself.
Manager: I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss.
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When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, "You missed work yesterday, didn't you?"
I said, "No, not particularly."
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A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
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What kind of exercise is perfect for lazy people?
Diddly squats!
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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