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What days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The other ones are weak days.
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I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...
I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"
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How do you steal a coat?
You jacket.
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I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said: "Sure, knock yourself out!"
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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