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My wife and I were happy for 20 years
Then we met.
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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AYE MATEY
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When two people have sex it's called a two-some, when three people have sex it's a threesome
Guess that's why my dad calls me handsome.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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