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Someone: I like your name!
Me: Thanks, I got it for my birthday
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Did you hear about the human cannonball?
Too bad he got fired!
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Teenager's dad: Have her back by 8:15.
Daughter's boyfriend: The middle of august? Great!
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This one time, all the rooms in a hotel were booked. But then comes this one guy, who asks for a room, in the same hotel, and gets one easily.
Because his name was Improvement. And there's always room for improvement.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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