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After all these years, my wife still thinks I’m sexy.
Every time I walk by she says, “What an Ass.”
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Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?
Because of her crash diet
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I'm a walking economy. My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation,
and it's all putting me into a deep depression.
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Did I ever tell you I had a job smashing cans?
It was soda pressing.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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