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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Kid: I need to go, I have a bus to catch.
Dad: How are you going to do that? They're massive.
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You know what really makes my day?
The rotation of the earth
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Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday
Apparently you’re not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say “get a load of this guy” every time someone walks in.
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My wife to our son, "Go brush your teeth with your sister"
Me from the other room, "No, use a toothbrush".
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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