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It doesn't matter if you're beautiful or ugly because at the end of the day..
it's evening.
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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson…
He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
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I quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big or strong enough.
Today, I put in my too-weak notice.
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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