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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
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When my grandma died, I had her cremated and put her ashes in a trophy that said "World's Best Grandma."
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Who is the patron saint of e-mail?
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What's a bad night for a tree?
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...

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