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I quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big or strong enough.
Today, I put in my too-weak notice.
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My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
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"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing..
Unless you're at a funeral.
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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband: I was looking for the expiration date.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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