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I’m trying to convince my wife that I want a Segway for my birthday.
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
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My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.
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How do you know if a sniper likes you?
He misses you!
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Father: I know what's causing your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television.
Kid: I'm sorry, you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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