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I just found out my girlfriend gave me an STD
I’m gonorrhea-valuate our relationship
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I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said,
‘You.’
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Every morning I plan on making pancakes,
but I keep waffling.
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Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
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I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
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