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I just found out my girlfriend gave me an STD
I’m gonorrhea-valuate our relationship
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I won the "Most Secretive Guy" award in our office today.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
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Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
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Why was the toilet paper rolling down the hill?
It was in a rush to get to the bottom.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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