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Coach said I broke my arm in two places! What will I do?
-I wouldn't go back to those places, that's for sure!
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I don’t mean to toot my own horn
But sometimes I have trouble getting into the driver’s seat.
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Some guy came up to me and said, "I haven't gone to the bathroom in two weeks."
I said, "you're full of crap"
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Did you know the first French Fries weren’t cooked in France?
They were actually cooked in Greece
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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