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Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was a head!
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Genie: What's your first wish master? John: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Done! What's your second wish Rich?
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I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
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Before the invention of the wheel...
...everything was a drag.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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