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Do you know the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?
A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.
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I played my dad in chess yesterday.
He didn't think he would win, but he just wanted to check.
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What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A bae-blade.
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What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do on his free time?
He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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