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A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks,
"Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
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I angered two people today by calling them hipsters...
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People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.
But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
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Wife: I thought we agreed on three beers and be home by ten.
Husband: I'm sorry, honey, I always get those two mixed up.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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