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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I'm very suspicious that someone in my family has been secretly adding glue to my weapons collection...
Everyone denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns...
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I dated a twin once...
I once dated a twin. My friend asked me how I told them apart. I said Stacy has a beauty mark on her right cheek. And Frank has a beard.
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Doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit.
You get a warm feeling, but no one else notices.
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A person asked me, "Aren't you the guy who brags about weird stuff?"
I replied, "No, Im the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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