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I'm very suspicious that someone in my family has been secretly adding glue to my weapons collection...
Everyone denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns...
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I can't stand stair lifts.
They drive me up the wall!
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What do you call 52 pieces of bread?
A deck of carbs!
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I had a racing snail...
To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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