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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
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It’s okay if your phone autocorrects ‘fuck’ to ‘duck’
You’re still using fowl language.
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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