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If Genghis Khan,
so Khan you.
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A vegan said to me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!”
I said, “People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.”
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“Dear Diary, I think I have trouble distinguishing between inanimate objects and human beings.”
My therapist: Yes, I see that. Stop calling me Diary.
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How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fifty. Three to die trying, one to actually pull it off, and 46 others to say, "Dude, I could do that!"
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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