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What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky
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What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do on his free time?
He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
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"Welcome back, everybody" is apparently not a good way to start your speech
if you're the best man at your buddy's second wedding.
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Did you hear about the angry pancake?
He just flipped.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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