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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Why do plants hate math?
It gives them square roots
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My girlfriend says if we don’t get married soon, she’s gonna kill me.
...it’s a matter of wife or death.
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Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler.
I woke up exhausted.
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My wife just yelled at me, "You haven't listened to a single word I've said"
I thought that was a pretty odd way to start a conversation
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I dated a twin once...
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