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Why do plants hate math?
It gives them square roots
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What does Trump's security tell him when he is attacked?
Donald, Duck
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Rusty shows up late for work. The boss approaches him as he walks in. "You should've been here at 8:30!" he yells.
Rusty looks surprised. "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
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If you’ve heard of Murphy’s law, which is that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, then have you heard of Cole’s law?
It’s thinly sliced cabbage
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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