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I’m never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
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I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
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My 8 year old daughter got me with "I can breathe under water"
She filled a cup of water placed it on her head and began to violently and rapidly breathe in and out. The force is strong with her.
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Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,
"No, just leave it in the carton! "
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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