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If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.
It will be a sadder day.
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What do Michael Jordan and a turkey have in common?
They're both known for stuffing.
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Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?
Because it hertz your ears!
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What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
"I never sausage a place"
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A captain harpooned a whale's tail on his first throw.
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