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I was born in the morning at 7:11
My parents thought it was pretty cool, but the store clerk wasn't happy about the mess.
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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
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What's a cannibals favorite kind of noodle?
Rawmen.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
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I dated a twin once...
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