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"I want to hate my life in a different building"
-person looking for a new job
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Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?
Because it hertz your ears!
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What do you call a grandfather clock?
An old timer!
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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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