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I just stepped on a cornflake.
I guess that makes me a true cereal killer.
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What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
Bored.
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It’s okay if your phone autocorrects ‘fuck’ to ‘duck’
You’re still using fowl language.
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Someone asked if I was Russian.
I said I'm not, I'm taking my time.
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Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
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