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Why do spies keep working even when they're asleep?
Cos they're undercover.
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Yesterday I walked in on my girlfriend in bed with her personal trainer
I told her, "This isn't working out"
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My wife won't come to Mexico with me.
She thinks I will try tequila.
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Do you know why I can’t be buried in a cemetery?
Because I’m still alive.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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