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Why do spies keep working even when they're asleep?
Cos they're undercover.
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How do alcoholics get in their house?
Wis key
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Did you hear about the human cannonball?
Too bad he got fired!
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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